|Form of Death||Sperm killed during masturbation|
|First Appearance||"Pulp Addiction"|
A promised land, sworn oath, and a vital mission. The Cowper were burdens that were born by sperm that met an unreasonable demise (killed during masturbation).
They seemed to believe their sole purpose of existing was to reach the promised land (the egg). Because of this, they were greatly displeased by their untimely demise at the hands of tissue paper. The Cowper targeted a paper plant, which was responsible for producing the tissue used to kill their brethren. Their reign of terror was run short when Panty and Stocking turned up on the scene and defeated them rather quickly. They are voiced by Brina Palencia in English.